Attempted Cognition

Blerp

Ok, maybe it’s gonna take a little while longer to get back in the swing of this.

I’ve been busy with work and (sometimes) class. My classes are fine; I’ve got aquatic conditioning, then some kind of… hmm. Contemporary law, maybe? Yea… I should definitely make more of a point to go to that one. It’s all so interesting to me, but at this point it’s a bit of a hindrance. When I do go to class - especially in the first week or two - it’s all really elementary stuff. Stuff I knew even before I decided to make a career with this kinda thing.

The swimming class is really fun. It’s a great change of pace for me… I don’t have to deal with my baby ankle or anything like I do when I run. The instructor seems like a pretty monstrous swimmer. He can’t be a day younger than 55, and he’s always the fastest swimmer in the pool. It’s great for my injuries, and helps develop better breathing habits, too. All around good fun.

Work’s… yea. I’ve read two books now, and I can kick an incredible amount of ass at every game I have on my phone.

I’ve always been watching a ton of Louie. It makes me laugh, and simultaneously keeps me mildly depressed. It’s entertaining enough that I stay up irresponsibly late watching it, and also makes me want to hug every balding, middle-aged ginger man I see.

That’s… well. I guess that’s all that’s going on right now. I’m reading Bag of Bones, and it’s starting to get extra interesting. It has a lot of potential at this point.

I need to start cleaning my apartment, so I can pack a few boxes and take them to my new home this weekend. New Home is actually a pretty big room at my Uncle Bruh’s pretty big house. On a pretty big Lake Travis. I’m pretty big excited :)

Oh, this is probably the funniest thing I’ve been exposed to today.

Hopefully I’ll start doing this more than once every two months, and I’ll develop more of a routine and that will make these more entertaining for everyone. IT WILL.

RETURN OF THE WES… I.

So I’m gonna start writing here again. Or… actually start writing, rather. Like for more than two posts. I think I expect myself to write something funny and entertaining every time, but I want to consider this more of a journal for myself than anything. Which is the reason why I started this, anyway. 

Yesterday I had my last day of training for my new job with Allied Barton. I finished my paperwork, got fitted for my uniform, and met with a few of the operations managers. The contract I was supposed to be working is ending today, so they’re giving me a rover position - where I’ll just be covering shifts for people all throughout Austin - until I move, and at that point I’ll choose a permanent full time position close to wherever I’m living. I was supposed to call the main operations manager today and schedule my first day, but he didn’t answer so I’m still at home being lazy and boring.

I started a new show yesterday, after I finished Better Off Ted - which, by the way, was better than I expected, but still not great - called Supernatural. My cousin Clayton has been trying to get me to watch it for a few months now. He claims it’s the best show ever made. And I definitely dont agree with that - I’ve been through Six Feet Under twice, now, and I’m fairly certain it’s gonna hold the title for the rest of my life - but it’s pretty awesome. I may or may not have but definitely did stay up until circa 5am watching eight 42 minute episodes. I am responsible.

I also skipped yoga yesterday and I’m upset with myself about it. My weekly workout schedule allows for one free day… so it’s not the end of the world. But I want to be hold myself to a higher standard of discipline for the first few weeks to kinda turn my lethargy around. 

I’m really excited about what could happen a year from now. With Allied Barton, I can transfer practically anywhere in the United States with relative ease. I’ve pretty certainly decided that I’m going to hold off on starting a career for now; I’m not ready to tie myself down anywhere. Especially not here, where I’ve been all my life. I’ll finish school in December, and then work and save until my lease in Austin is up. At that point… I think I want to move somewhere. Like way north somewhere. I have a few cities in mind… off the top of my head - Boston, Hartford, Seattle, Portland, or maybe somewhere in New York close to NYC. I can’t even fathom any of that being a real possibility. Anyway… I’ll have enough saved to keep me on my feet for a while, but most importantly, I’ll have a guaranteed job with Allied Barton as soon as I move. Seamlessly. I’ll wait a few months to become comfortable with the city, and then look into maybe working with the police department of whichever city I choose. I could start my career there, get a few years of experience, and then make my decision of where I want to live and transfer. I cannot wait :)

But for now, I’m focusing on finishing school, finding an apartment in Austin, making and saving money, making friends, and building a true, honest friendship with Jessica. I want to take her to see Next to Normal in San Antonio sometime while it’s playing in July, and I just saw last night that Iron and Wine is playing the same show at the same place where we met a year ago. Fitting :) we are most certainly going to that. I can’t wait. 

That’s all for now, I think. Today, I’m going to finish this episode of supernatural, and then watch some Cheers and do my yoga workout. Then shower, and clean my apartment up. It’s a ridiculous mess, particularly in my bedroom. I did four loads of laundry a few days ago and didn’t but a single thing away. Still responsible. Then… hmm. I might go to the Coffee Pot and research more apartments. Assuming this douche operations manager continues to not return my call. 

Have a good day, me :)

Oh!

I almost forgot! I saw a documentary last night and I wanted to talk about it.

This is the one:

SOO GOODDD. Well… not good enough to warrant that much excitement. But so good. I really recommend it… it’s such a clever idea. They took footage from all over the world and all of it was shot on the same day; I think it was July 24th, 2010. It shows you tons of different things that happen in a single day, and gives you a glimpse into several dozen people’s lives on that single day.

It wasn’t as inclusive and… idk. Ratiolistically accurate. Which is a word I just created. A lot of the people shown had very similar lives, and everything had a generally happy vibe to it.

I’ve thought about the concept behind this document before on several occasions. During a single day, everything happens. Everything. Someone has a child, and someone’s child is raped and killed. Marriages and divorces happen every day, births and deaths, fortunes are made and lost, happiness and depression set in, and people spend their first day in jail, while others spend their last. Careers begin and end. Someone bombs a test, and someone makes love to the person of their dreams for the first time. Some people meet their parents for the very first time, and some people lose their parents in a car accident. Every single day is the worst day of someone’s life. Every day is the best day of someone’s life.

Which inevitably leads to the next step in this line of thinking. What kind of day is it for me? While big things are happening in other people’s lives, be it great or terrible, the odds are stacked disgustingly high that my day, on any randomly selected day, was spent eating too much, playing video games for several hours, procrastinating work that needed to be done, and spending too much money. Some days are spent almost entirely indoors.

What in God’s name am I doing with my life?

How have I let my mind skew so far from reality that I’m able to justify doing all of those things almost daily?

Thank you, Kevin MacDonald and whoever else, for giving me more motivation and ammunition against myself when I start justifying. I have a ton, and I’ll always want more, but it’s not enough yet. I’m twenty-two years old. What have I done?

I can’t change my answer to that question. It is what it is.

But I can and will change what the answer to that question will be in a year. In five years. In ten and twenty years.

Count on it.

OMG FIRST TUMBLY IN ALMOST A YEAR HI

Good morningg brain :) I haven’t ran a very high rate of thought through you this morning. Still distracted by the cold? Still stressed about graduating on time and finding a decent job right away? Still tingly and warm inside from another night spent next to Jessica? I’ll assume the answer’s yes. Also, I know the answer’s yes because you’re my brain.

Let’s see… Things on my mind so far today:

I keep allowing myself to think my first final is several days away. Or at least enough days away that I’ll be fine completely forgetting about it for a few days. It’s not. I have one more day to study for it.

I love the way Jessica makes me so much more motivated to be a better person. I don’t know if it’s because of all the things she’s gone through and accomplished, or because I like her so much that I want to be a better person for her, or if it’s just the competitive side of me that is thrown completely off balance by finding someone who’s as good or better at just about everything, which I’m not used to at all. I think it’s a combination of all of those things. My workout ethic is roughly the same, but she makes me want to eat healthier; That’s mostly because she does it so well, and she makes it easy by cooking amazingly delicious and healthy food. She’s inspired me to be more active on social networks like this one again… which is healthy for me, I think. Most importantly, she’s given me the final push I needed to clean up the sketchy habits I’ve developed over the years. No matter what happens from now on, she’ll always be a very special person to me for that.

Anyway.

I cut my beard off yesterday and now I remember why I don’t like cutting my beard off. This happens every time. I think I’m done though… I don’t think I’ll ever have less than about two weeks worth of growth until I’m a real grownup person and don’t have a choice. What a horrible day that will be :/

I really need to study for my first final today. I also want to get my workout done, clean my apartment a little, start working on my piano skills again, and restart that livemocha language whatever thing for Spanish. Sigh. KNOW SPANISH, YA DUMB BRAIN. I’ve had so many years of it and still know practically nothing. I almost typed knowthing. lawl. But seriously. That would make me so much more comfortable with my marketability after college… so… please get on that.

What else…

I really like firefox.

I wish I could run.

I’m excited to go to this “Key to the City” ceremony in a few hours.

I wish my face was hairier.

Hairier is a weird-looking word.

Today will be a fine day :)